How to write a good personal statement?

For this, I have a whole lesson prepared. I think firstly, I always go through UCAS with them. Then, I run through past personal statement. I picked real personal statements of people who got into Cambridge and Oxford for different subjects. Then, I would discuss the subject they want to apply to, as well as the schools (teaching them how to pick schools strategically). Finally, I would teach them the golden structure of a good Statement: 

Introductory Paragraph:

Catch the reader’s eye (must be inventive)

Can be a narrative about your life

Can be a global issue that interests you 

Body (several paragraphs):

Paint you as a strong student

Explain what you want to study and why

Good understanding of the subject

Describe your hobbies and how they have contributed to making the person you are today

What have you done outside of school that is relevant to the subject you want to study

Focus on achievements.

Conclusive Paragraph:

Why studying in the UK?

Future aspirations and how it ties in your aspirations at university level

Hopes/Dreams