From the day your teen was born, they started learning. It\u2019s very common for parents (who have the absolute best intentions!) to jump in too early when they see their child struggling with their learning. But rescuing them when they\u2019re stuck isn\u2019t always the best way to help them in the long run. At MyTutor, we were lucky to catch up with author and education expert Prof Guy Claxton last week. He gave a super inspiring talk about how kids learn, and why letting them work out solutions themselves can help them become better learners for life. Below we dive into some (of so many!) highlights from our webinar. Let\u2019s go! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If your teen is struggling with a Maths problem, an English essay or even a flat tyre on their bike, stepping straight in to save the day can actually throw cold water on their learning process. But don\u2019t feel too discouraged- Prof Claxton says it\u2019s very common for well-meaning parents to come to the rescue. Kids at every age – even toddlers – want to have a go on their own. They feel a lot of pride in working through a challenge, and they can get a bit grumpy with meddling parents. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course, if your child is floundering or in physical danger, you know it’s right to step in. But when it comes to their learning, Prof Claxton recommends being a coach or as he calls it, \u2018a guide by their side\u2019. This is all about helping them develop habits which will make them enjoy learning, and do it really well. Like curiosity, adventurousness and creative thinking – tools which will help them push through tricky challenges and enjoy finding new solutions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But how do you go about being a parent-coach?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How you talk about \u2018success\u2019 and \u2018failure\u2019 shapes the way your teen sees challenges. Prof Claxton tells us, \u2018if you say things like, \u201cWhoops! This is a tricky one, isn\u2019t it?\u201d\u2019 then you\u2019re showing your teen that it\u2019s completely normal to make mistakes. In school, they might have picked up the idea that getting the right answer straight away is what really counts, but you can help shift how they think about mistakes at home. If you make friends with mistakes by openly speaking about them, and pointing them out in yourself- \u2018Oh, here I go again!..oh I\u2019ll have another go at it,\u2019 – your teen can learn to feel more relaxed about setbacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When we\u2019re choosing our words, Prof Claxton also points out that it\u2019s best not to repeatedly tell your child how \u2018smart\u2019 and \u2018bright\u2019 they are. Though on the surface it seems a really lovely way to boost their inner confidence, it can actually have the opposite effect. Kids often have imposter syndrome, and a fear of getting things wrong. \u2018Smart\u2019 can become part of the way your teen sees themselves, and if anything too challenging comes along (and it will, because life is full of challenges!), they can panic and feel like they\u2019ve let themselves (and you) down. We don\u2019t want challenges to threaten children, but to spark their interest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Curiosity is a powerful mind habit. Being curious means that you\u2019re willing to take risks with your imagination when you\u2019re met with challenges. Prof Claxton mentions how a lot of big companies today like Google and Deloitte are actually looking for people who are flexible and curious, rather than someone who\u2019s got top grades from an elite university. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As a parent, you can encourage curiosity in your child at home. Prof Claxton suggests writing questions out and posting them on the fridge or on a noticeboard where they\u2019re nice and visible, and then try to work them out together. But also collecting questions – without solving them straight away – shifts the focus of learning from \u2018how can I get a quick answer so my homework is DONE\u2019 to \u2018ooh this is an interesting problem to work out.’<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When your teen shows an interest in something – like fixing the toaster, say – in a moment of pride, parents can jump to conclusions, and make declarations: \u2018My daughter\u2019s going to be an engineer!\u2019 Prof Claxton encourages parents to let their teen find their own way. \u2018Help support them in their passions, but don\u2019t leap to conclusions\u2019, he says. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The world that we\u2019re living in now is teeming with possibilities and it\u2019s a good idea to let children explore the full range of what\u2019s on offer. Prof Claxton points out that sometimes kids don\u2019t find their way even in their 20s. \u2018It\u2019s best that parents learn to live with that, instead of thinking it\u2019s problematic.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n