parental peer pressures
Parent Blog

Parental Peer Pressures: The 5 Most Common & How To Cope

Parenting isn’t easy. As well as everything else that comes with keeping up with your job, your household, and any other needs, society’s parental peer pressures and expectations of what to expect from parents can be unfair. Just as parents may tell their child that they should try not to let peer pressures influence their actions, it’s something parents themselves need to keep in mind. While it’s often helpful to get advice and information from other parents, and from society we may sometimes be influenced more than we realise by parental peer pressure. To further understand these pressures, MyTutor highlights the most common pressures put on parents today and how parents can best overcome them.

Here we have a run-down of some common peer pressures faced by parents, and how you can overcome with them.

Common peer pressures faced by parents

#1 You’re expected to be the ‘perfect parent’
#2 You’re expected to understand your child’s homework
#3 You’re expected to have excessive free time for your child
#4 You’re expected to know what to do at all times
#5 You’re expected to have discipline all figured out

#1 You’re expected to be the ‘perfect parent’

Parental peer pressure can arise due to a number of different mediums, such as TV, and even other parents. However, nothing can compare to rise and subsequent impact of social media. In more recent years it seems that it’s not just young people that have been affected by social media. The rise of social media also seems to be a major factor, which has contributed to parents feeling pressure to meet unrealistic societal expectations – hence the ‘perfect parent’ facade. This has led parents to feel pressure to be perfect in parenting. The dream sold on social media vs the reality of being a parent feeds to this notion of the perfect parent – which is a destructive one, and can affect your wellbeing.

#2 You’re expected to understand your child’s homework

Now, you may well have got an A for O Level Maths 25 years ago, but that equation on your kid’s latest homework may as well be written hieroglyphics for the sense it makes to you now. It is perhaps not a surprise that many parents lack confidence when faced with the task of helping their child with their homework. Last year, according to a survey, a quarter of British parents did not help their children with homework, citing their fear of embarrassment as a major reason.This ecos a past study, which found that 53% of parents struggled to understand the new maths teaching methods used in modern classrooms. Although this seems all doom and gloom it’s important to know that there are a number of platforms offering tutoring services for parents who may not feel completely confident in helping their child with school. With MyTutor for example, you can book online tutoring for your child using our fuss-free and totally flexible platform – a convenient way to ensure your child gets the educational help they need.

#3 You’re expected to have excessive free time for your child

Society has parents (in particularly) mothers, be made to feel guilty if they are unable to spend excessive amounts of time with their children. But should parents be made to feel guilty? Whether you’re working full time, excessive hours, a full time homemaker, or have more than one child to look after – being able to sit down and spent some quality time with your child to help them with school work, support their needs, or just be present can be tricky. Although social media or TV will have you believe that parents are able to fully function in everyday life and still have significant time for their children, the truth of the matter is that this may not be achievable. And importantly you should not feel guilty about it.

#4 You’re expected to know what to do at all times

Being a great parent does not come with 100% guarantee success manuel. You learn as you go on. Knowing what is best for your child in terms of their studying, how to handle their own peer pressures that they may face in life, supporting them during stressful situations like exam time is if we admit to ourselves, hard work. It’s just expected that parents will know what to do in these situations, but the truth of the matter is that you may just not know what to do. The idea that we are supposed to knowing everything there is about parenthood is toxic and a precedent for failure.

#5 You’re expected to have discipline all figured out

Let’s face it. Discipling your child so that they respect your parenting boundaries is difficult. Society has so many opinions on the matter of discipline, making you feel like a failure if you are not meeting society’s expectations. Whatever their age, it’s important to be consistent when it comes to disciplining your child. If you don’t stick to the rules and consequences you’ve set up, your child is unlikely to either. One of the main jobs, is to teach your child how to behave. There may be trial and error while doing so, but it’s important that you listen to yourself and try to do your best, without worrying if you are meeting society’s standards.

Understanding the common pressures faced by parents can go into some way to discover how to overcome them. Below are just a few tips for dealing with parental pressure.

How to cope with parental pressure

1. Decide what ideals are important to you
2. Make a list of all your strengths
3. Trust your parental instinct
4. Don’t follow everything you see
5. Set an example

1. Decide what ideals are important to you

Thinking about how you were raised by your parents and the values instilled in you, is a great way to gain the confidence you need. Taking deep breaths, and calmly reflecting on these values and ideals, will help you to decide which you want to pass on to your child, while gaining conviction doing so, making you realise what a good parent actually is.

2. Make a list of all your strengths

It may sound narcissistic, but making a simple list of all the things you know you are doing your best with. With the little time you do have, do you spend it with your child? Do you try to help them with their schoolwork, despite not being the most confident at it? Do you ensure that you maintain a positive environment for your child? Do you have a great relationship with your child and provide all the emotional support they need? Noting all these things down will highlight to you all the things you are doing right as a parent. This will not only boost your confidence, but help you to clearly see that you are doing a great job.

3. Trust your parental instinct

It can be hard to always know what to do as a parent, but going with your gut instinct is usually the best option. Have a little faith in yourself. Taking advice from others is fine, but sometimes listening to too many opinions can make you doubt your own. Most people giving advice simply want to help, but if it becomes too much, politely and assertively explain to them that you respect their advice but will choose to follow your own. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t follow the advice of others. At the end of the day you have the final say and that’s what counts. Be assertive and believe in yourself. Trust your parental instinct. Doing so will help you to figure out such things such as how you think it’s bests to discipline your child.

4. Don’t follow everything you see

Social media can be great. You can find other parents and share your experiences of raising a child. But social media can also paint a dangerous picture that parenting is easy. If you are struggling, images of perfect parents and seamless parenting can make you feel as if you are a failure – hence which is where the parental pressures kick in. Realising that some of the images depicted across social media and other platforms should be taken with a grain of salt will go some way into helping you realise that you are doing a good job as a parent. Refrain using these images as a benchmark, and more of a pinch of salt.

5. Set an example

Parental pressure can happen to anyone. To try to tackle it, it’s important to remember that your child is likely to follow and mimic you and how you respond to certain situations. It is likely that they will face with similar feeling of peer pressure, so seeing how you cope will go a long way into teaching them how they should handle similar pressures. Showing your child how you handle peer pressure in life will teach them how to do the same. Ultimately, you know that you’re doing the best by your kid, and that’s all that really matters. Mum, dad, you’re doing a great job.

Require extra support with your child’s schoolwork? With MyTutor, you can book online tutoring for your child using our fuss-free and totally flexible platform. We can help you find the perfect tutor for your child (all of our tutors are students top UK universities), and lessons take place using our online classroom. We see an average of one whole grade’s improvement (often more) in one term’s worth of lessons with MyTutor and 80% of our students also say that lessons helped improve their confidence.

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