Every lesson has the potential to slide into the surreal. I can’t help but think of a Geography lesson when our class sat under tarpaulins on the school hockey pitch, eating ‘rations’ (digestive biscuits) and pretending we had been displaced in a tsunami. Suffice to say, our Geography teacher definitely deserved an F for political correctness. I’ve had History lessons spent re-enacting WWII and an Economics teacher who ran around the classroom high-fiving all her students, whilst shouting “How do you spell Economics? F-U-N!’ That being said, there are undoubtedly some subjects which are stranger than others. Check out our list below to find out more.
Manx
French, German and Spanish are the languages traditionally taught in British schools. Maybe Mandarin if your teachers are more esoteric. You would never, though, be expected to learn Manx. In fact, most of you probably don’t know what Manx is.
Manx is traditionally the language of the Isle of Man, although the last original native speaker, Ned Maddrell, died in 1974. In fact, UNESCO pronounced the language extinct in the 1990s. One islander, 76 year old Brian Stowell, said that by the 20th century ‘it was considered to be so backwards to speak the language that there were stories of Manx speakers getting stones thrown at them in towns.’ Recent years, however, have seen a Manx renaissance, and so it continues to be taught in the island’s schools up to A Level, although lessons are optional.
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One of the rare popular culture references to Manx appears in Thomas the Tank Engine. Although Thomas and his friends live on the (fictional) Island of Sodor, they neighbour the Isle of Man and speak similar enough languages to communicate with the Manx trains.
Rural and agricultural science
If you’ve ever wanted to don a cap, chew an ear of corn and thunder through your school gates in a tractor, then this is the subject for you. Rural and agricultural science is taught at farm schools, such as Brymore Academy in Somerset. The school’s grounds include a 110 acre working farm, home to cows, sheep, pigs and even a bull.
Students look after the animals, grow fruit and vegetables for the school shop and kitchen, and, of course, learn to drive the school tractor. OCR also offers a GCSE in environmental and land based sciences, with topics such as ‘Soils, Crops and Habitats’ and ‘Animals on the Land’.
Classic Sanskrit
Schools wouldn’t think twice about offering Latin or even Ancient Greek, but Classical Sanskrit never gets a look in. Which is strange because almost 5% of the global population speak Hindi, the modern language descended from it. Countless languages are indebted to Sanskrit, including English. The words orange, rice, shampoo, yoga, lilac, aubergine, bandana and jungle are all derived from this ancient language.
Today, it remains in use as the primary sacred language of Hinduism, and can be heard during Buddhist ceremonies in the forms of hymns and chants. It is also listed as one of the 22 scheduled languages of India, as well as being the official language of the Indian state of Uttarakhand. Countless poems, dramas, and philosophical and religious texts have been written in Sanskrit, including the Mahabharata, an epic poem whose influence can be felt throughout the entire canon of Indian literature.
St James School in London is leading the push for Sanskrit teaching, offering both an IGCSE and A Level in it. According to the exam website, the language offers ‘soothing, yet stimulating sounds’, and the ‘structure of the grammar which is said by some to be the greatest ever known’.
Sensorial
Yes, you read that right. At Montessori schools, which adhere to the philosophy espoused by the Italian Maria Montessori, ‘Sensorial’, or sensory exploration, is at the centre of the curriculum. The focus is on helping young children ‘concentrate on the refinement of all senses, from visual to stereognostic’*. There are also thermic sense exercises to refine the child’s sense of temperature. This is meant to make children aware of their roles as ‘sensorial explorers’.
*This means to literally grasp something; to work out what an object is through tactile engagement
Elvish
The University of Wisconsin offers the option to study the Elvish languages (yes, there are lots of them!), as originally created by J. R. R. Tolkien. The course is taught by David Salo, an American linguist who acted as the elvish language advisor on the Lord of the Ring’s films, as well as the subsequent Hobbit movie. He also helped with inscriptions and translated lyrics for movie soundtracks. Only true Lord of the Rings fans need apply.
Underwater Basket Weaving
Another ridiculous course for American students – or is it? A lot of online lists of crazy subjects list ‘underwater basket weaving’, but make sure not to take them too literally. It’s actually an idiom for all the real useless educational courses which exist. The equivalent UK term would be a ‘Mickey Mouse degree’. The term came into use in the mid-1950s, appearing in a spate of articles about declining academic standards. It remained a popular term, with one 1960s Penn State parody article interviewing ‘a typical Miami co-ed majoring in underwater basket weaving’. The phrase was also used during the Vietnam War, in reference to civilians enrolling in very easy college courses to escape the draft. Modern uses of the term can be found on the professional social network LinkedIn, with some users ‘endorsing’ others in underwater basket weaving. The irony is that some US colleges have subsequently introduced actual underwater basket weaving courses – such as the aptly named Reed College.
Harry Potter
That long wished for letter from Hogwarts may never have arrived, but Durham’s Harry Potter module (offered as part of their education studies course) represents the closest opportunity you’ll have to escape the Muggle world for a magic one. The Faculty website lists a myriad range of modules, such as ‘Griffindor and Slytherin: prejudice and intolerance in the classroom’, ‘Muggles and magic: the escape from the treadmill and the recovery of enchantment’ and ‘’My station and its duties: Harry Potter and the good citizen’. Sadly there’s no mention of Quidditch lessons.
Lady Gaga and the Sociology of Fame
For Professor Mathieu Deflem, it wasn’t enough to see Lady Gaga in concert 30 times. No, like any loyal fan, Deflem built an entire academic course around her. The Belgian sociologist, whose other research interests include counter-terrorism and international policing, has focused on viewing Gaga as a social event. The course description reveals that students will ‘unravel some of the sociologically relevant dimensions of the fame of Lady Gaga with respect to her music, videos, fashion, and other artistic endeavours.’ Deflem admits that originally the course was just going to focus on fame and celebrity, until he decided ‘What the hell! Let’s make the whole freaking course about Lady Gaga.’